Young & Elder

This post’s title sounds a little like a restaurant in the Pearl, “Young & Elder.” It can also seem like a contradiction in terms until we read Paul’s words to a young elder:

"Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

This verse shows that age has precious little to do with leadership. However, sharing an exemplary life with others has everything to do with it. Often that sharing happens across generations, with older people offering hard-won wisdom to younger generations. However, Paul’s words to Timothy also make space for younger people to lead those who are older. Timothy’s example makes it clear that giftedness, calling, and character matter more than age. The Holy Spirit is not constrained by someone’s birth date. 

Age ≠ Always Equal Caracter and Wisdom

Many prominent Evangelical leaders have fallen recently, and these tragedies teach us a hard lesson. Living for a long time and serving in a leadership role for decades is just as likely to erode the finer qualities of one’s soul as it is to cultivate them. That’s one reason why we don’t put an age limit on eldership, other than requiring them to be legal adults.

We do pay attention to character and reputation though. Those are the biblical standards for serving as an elder. We can find several helpful summaries of an elder’s qualities in Paul’s pastoral epistles (the letters to Timothy and Titus). This version of 1 Timothy 3:1-7 from The Message offers a particularly readable passage:

If anyone wants to provide leadership in the church, good! But there are preconditions: A leader must be well-thought-of, committed to his wife, cool and collected, accessible, and hospitable. He must know what he’s talking about, not be overfond of wine, not pushy but gentle, not thin-skinned, not money-hungry. He must handle his own affairs well, attentive to his own children and having their respect. For if someone is unable to handle his own affairs, how can he take care of God’s church? He must not be a new believer, lest the position go to his head and the Devil trip him up. Outsiders must think well of him, or else the Devil will figure out a way to lure him into his trap. 

Let’s unpack these simple, profound truths on the following pages.

“If anyone wants to provide leadership in the church, good!” 

Paul is saying you have to have a desire to do the job, and if you want to serve, well, that’s a good thing. Caring for the people in a church—praying with them, helping them connect more deeply with the life of Jesus, his church, and its mission—can be extraordinarily rewarding. It can also be taxing. What sustains elders in the task is their desire to see God’s people lay hold of the Gospel-centered life that Jesus offers, which he describes as “eternal.”

“But there are preconditions: A leader must be well-thought-of,...” 

Desire must be matched with a sterling reputation, which is an indispensable quality for an elder. Perfection is never the standard. In fact, if an elder is authentic, vulnerable, humble, and transparent, their good reputation will include an honest inventory of their weaknesses. We have all known people who we admire for their fine character without turning a blind eye to their faults.

“...committed to his wife, cool and collected, accessible, and hospitable. ” 

Paul’s primary concern is the Christian witness of a one-man-one-woman marriage for those who serve as elders. He mentions a man committed to his wife, which on its face may appear to exclude women from eldership. It doesn’t. The vast majority of Paul’s writings on Christian behavior, his apostolic and pastoral practice as recorded in the New Testament, and his personal interaction with women; all indicate that he considered them full partners in ministry, notwithstanding select verses that are more difficult to interpret, and often abused. Since the pivotal word in the text is “committed”, the character quality Paul has in mind is typical of a person whose “yes” means yes and whose “no” means no. That’s an invaluable trait when it comes to one’s wedding vows, but it also touches on all relationships. To sum it up, elders can be relied on to keep their word.

Paul also mentions temperament to Timothy. Elders must not be people who are given to frequent and explosive emotional outbursts. They should exhibit sober self-control, as evidence of a Spirit-led life. Can an elder scream like a maniac at a Timber’s game if Portland scores with seconds remaining to break a tie? Of course! However, in most other situations, especially ministry moments seasoned with tension or tears, they should keep a cool head.

When you tease out the final two qualities, accessible and hospitable, Paul’s describing people who are winsome and inviting in their relationships. Ministry is about people, so elders should have a high degree of comfort about opening their hearts and their lives to others in the church.

“He must know what he’s talking about,...” 

In other words, elders think before they speak. Have you ever been to a family gathering, or in a company meeting, where there’s that one person who may not say much, but people stop and listen when they speak? That’s the idea here. It doesn’t mean you know everything. It just means that when you do speak, you do so with the authority that accompanies a humble assessment of what you know, and more importantly, what you don’t know. If you’re not a therapist, don’t try to do therapy. If you’re not an MD, don’t try your hand at a differential diagnosis. If you’re not a theologian, don’t get into the theological weeds. If the person you’re caring for needs a therapist, a doctor, or a theologian, grab a trained pastor. Stick to your wheelhouse. That’ll be more than enough.

“...not be overfond of wine, not pushy but gentle, not thin-skinned, not money-hungry.” 

There are also some things that shouldn’t be a regular feature in the life of an elder: drunkenness, an overbearing demeanor, insecurity, or greed. Even so, elders are human, so they may occasionally fall prey to something on this list. Keep in mind that perfect performance isn’t as important as the trajectory of someone’s life. If you serve as an elder or are considering it, promise you’ll do three things—especially if you read the list and think, “Uh oh. I’ve been there and done some of that.” First, pray and ask God if it’s a pattern or a pest. Are these things that happened more in the past, occasionally resurfacing or are they regular and habitual? 

Second, take a look at the trajectory of your life. Are you a more faithful follower of Jesus than you were five or ten years ago? If you can see real, sustained growth in your life, you may qualify to serve despite indiscretions in your past. This whole passage in 1 Timothy is a gut-check, so be honest in your assessment and ask for God’s help.

Third, if you conclude that you’re not qualified, please meet with a pastor and talk about it. Maybe it’s not as bad as you think. Even if it is, it’s better to be open about why you can’t serve than to feel shame, hide the reason, and make an excuse. Most pastors will love you. They'll want to help. And, they will still think you’re awesome just like God does.

“He must handle his own affairs well, attentive to his own children and having their respect. For if someone is unable to handle his own affairs, how can he take care of God’s church?” 

This arguably has he/his, as well as she/her, in view. Regardless, it is all about family. One of the most persistent metaphors in the Bible for the church is a family. Paul makes good use of it in Ephesians, calling us all adopted children, the object of God’s overflowing love. The apostle’s point to Timothy is simple. If someone is good at caring for their own family in a god-honoring and loving manner, they’ll probably be good at caring for God’s family in the church. A reliable indication of your tendency to love others is how you treat the people closest to you, the ones who spend the most unguarded time with you.

“He must not be a new believer...” 

Paul’s reference to the Devil in this passage points to the very real danger when spiritually immature Christians are given leadership responsibility too soon. Paul isn’t talking about keeping the church’s books or stacking chairs. His remarks address spiritual leadership because it invites the opposition of the evil ones. Evil is real and it’s personal, but it’s not omnipotent. It is limited by God’s goodness and power, so the evil ones who Paul describes as “principalities and powers” deploy their strength strategically. This means, if you step up to lead spiritually in a church, you just stepped out of a fox hole during a battle with a target on your back. 

I don’t want this to get weird, but I do want readers to be aware that godly character, a solid theological foundation, and a good grasp of the Scriptures are not just qualifications on a job description, they offer tangible spiritual authority to those who serve as elders, people who must deal effectively with spiritual opposition. Qualifications often take time to accumulate. However, it’s not about age, it’s about mileage. A 25-year-old who’s walked with God for two decades can be an elder. On the other hand, some of the most spiritually unprepared people in any church can have a lot of gray hair. 

If you want to serve as Paul says, that's a good thing, but ask God if you're ready, and listen carefully if the Spirit is whispering, “Not yet. Soon, but not yet.”

“Outsiders must think well of him...”

Paul also sees spiritual protection in one’s reputation outside the church. Interesting, huh? Think about it. Have you ever considered that some of the most high-profile failures of big-time evangelical leaders happened because they disintegrated their lives? They acted as if they were godly people publicly, within the church, then they behaved as if they were completely different persons with “outsiders.” Whether as a mega-church celebrity pastor or as the CEO of a large, influential, and wealthy faith-based non-profit, when leaders cultivate a double life–even if the “outsiders” are really a small circle of insiders—they are playing with fire. Paul says, “Put down the matches before you step up to lead in Jesus’ Church.”

In the passage we just examined, Paul is writing as a pastor to another pastor. That's why we must see his words to Timothy full of a shepherd’s love. He's not being harsh or judgmental. He’s also not simply designating a list of desirable capacities which disqualify most people. He has a genuine, loving concern for those who accept the burden of leadership. He knows the measure of leaders who thrive, loving the people in a church, not just leading them. And he knows the vulnerabilities that can wreak havoc in their lives and that of a congregation should they attempt to lead prematurely.

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